Well, this didn’t take long. Jon Stewart is coming back to the small screen. He just signed a four-year deal with HBO. He’ll do short form digital content which will go up on HBO Now and HBO Go, and he also has first-look options for other TV and film projects. This obviously isn’t a very demanding schedule, and of course it’s built that way on purpose. Stewart said “Appearing on television 22 minutes a night clearly broke me. I’m pretty sure I can produce a few minutes of content every now and again.” So we don’t get as much John Stewart as we used to, but little tidbits of Stewart are better than no Stewart at all.
The California Health Department is saying “Don’t eat the crab!” Just days before the start of crab season, officials are saying do not eat any Dungeness crab until further notice. Even though a tourist on the wharf is probably eating one as we speak. But I can’t have brunch without crab benedict! Well you can eat it as long as you don’t mind ingesting potentially deadly levels of domoic acid which have been found in Dungeness crab and rock crab caught along the coastline between Oregon and the southern border of Santa Barbara County. There’s an emergency meeting 8 a.m. Thursday in Sacramento, to be live-streamed on Cal-Span.
If you’ve got lots of cash set aside for some Star Wars memorabilia, here’s something you can’t buy anymore: Princess Leia’s gold metal bikini. Yes, maybe this bikini made you the man you are today, or the woman. But the rumor is that it is no more. It will no longer be in any future portrayals of Leia, and is no longer part of their merchandise collection. A Marvel animator commented on this, agreeing that they can’t even draw a picture of Leia in a seductive pose, let alone that bikini. “But what am I gonna do with this money!” you might ask. If you’re a Nirvana fan, you can bid on the sweater Kurt Cobain wore during his performance on MTV unplugged for around $40,000. Or you can just buy the new $2 million dollar bra from Victoria’s Secret.
Chances are, you’re staring at a screen right this second. And if you’re teenager, chances are you’ll be staring at one for about 9 hours. Researchers say that’s the new national average for how teens spend their time. Looking at screens, and particularly absorbing media. Two-thirds of teenagers said they listen to music every day. Fifty-eight percent said the same about TV. Forty-five percent said they use social media every day and only 36 percent said they enjoyed that activity “a lot.” Regardless, this proves most teenagers spend more time looking at screens then they do interacting with parents, school work, or pretty much anything else.
We’ve talked before about people getting a little too carried away with the Walking Dead. But it turns out, Walking Dead syndrome is a real thing that effects people every year. If you can’t get enough of the show, it’s possible for you to develop Cotard’s disease, where you truly believe you are dead person walking among the living. Also called “Walking Corpse Syndrome,” the person feels like their walking around but their organs are dead and rotting inside them. It’s been around since before the walking dead, but could definitely be influenced by the zombie craze. And if you don’t treat it, it can kill you! Because they don’t believe they’re alive, they abstain from necessary means to survive, like eating, sleeping, and having good hygiene.
Our friend Broke Ass Stuart is not the mayor (We really put all our eggs in one basket there). But that wasn’t the only thing on the ballot. Proposition F did not pass which would have placed more restrictions on AirBnb. The vote was close, and protesting abounded yesterday, but AirBnb reigned supreme. But the Mission Rock project got the OK which builds lots of affordable new housing coming to the AT&T park area. Meanwhile in Ohio, recreational pot was NOT legalized. Nick Lachay, who is an investor of ResponsibleOhio, tweeted: While I may not agree, the people of Ohio have spoken and that’s the way it’s supposed to work. Change takes time. #democracy #respect
Twitter made a change yesterday that has everyone up in arms, or up in thumbs. They changed the like star to a heart favorite. This is unacceptable, and everyone hates it and wants it changed back immediately. But there are ways to change it back yourself. Using the Stylish extension on your Chrome or Firefox browser, instructions are circulating online for how you can replace the heart with a beer mug or any emoji of your choice. Of course, Twitter did this to gain new users and feel the heart can “say more” than the like.
A sort of “wine train in the air” happened. We talked to a woman who felt she was punished for laughingwhileblack. But these people claim they got in trouble for flyingwhileblack. This all happened on Spirit Airlines, the Fresno of the air. Seven African-American passengers were kicked off a flight from Los Angeles to Dallas when two passengers were being unruly. They were asked to deplane but they refused. Eventually they were escorted out and other passengers who were being unruly were asked to deplane as well. The problem is, all seven of the passengers were African American. You could argue people are generally a little more unruly on airlines like Spirit, but regardless they feel they were victims of racial discrimination.
A bake sale to raise money for a Romanian orphanage was ruined when a dildo showed up in one of their delicious chocolate cakes. I know you don’t need it, but I’ll give you an explanation. These very nice people were fundraising for this orphanage, selling delicious baked goods, when they think someone strolled into the office and jammed a dildo into one of the cakes. They discovered the dildo and shut down the bake sale. They then felt they needed to toss all the rest of the cakes for fear of discovering more dildos. So, no money for the Romanian orphanage because dildos.