Who was there? All kinds of people from the Bay Area and beyond attended the Super Bowl yesterday. Steph Curry was in full Panthers gear beating a giant drum like a Taiko drumming extraordinaire. He looked adorable as usual, but didn’t love the outcome as much as his fellow athletes. NBA star Kevin Durant was at the game, but he was credentialed as a photographer, proving it’s easier to become a media member then to spend thousands of dollars on a ticket. David Beckham, Kate Hudson, Alicia Keyes, Amy Adams, January Jones, Ludacris and many other celebrities were in attendance, many of whom heading home today. And then of course there was the Manning family, Cooper and all. Eli Manning didn’t seem as excited to be there as his brother was. Videos and pictures of him looking generally unhappy and bored have been making the rounds, particularly a video of him looking emotionless as his family celebrated the Broncos’ two-point conversion. But no one was happier than Peyton Manning, who after winning proved he’s not above selling-out even during his post-game interview. saying he was so happy that he was going to go “enjoy some Budweiser” to celebrate.
Commercials, about poop: The Super Bowl commercials last night proved that we love puppies, hybrid foods, and horrifying puppy-monkey-baby combos (thanks Mountain Dew…) We also learned that companies are shaming us over the place. From water conservation to drunk driving, domestic violence, and though PETA didn’t have a Super Bowl spot they did make sure to shame everyone on Twitter for eating wings. But none could compare to the real star of the Super Bowl commercial spread. Opioid Induced Constipation…? Apparently they’ve got money to burn on these Super Bowl ads, because for an entire minute we had to watch a man longingly look at other people pooping, jealous that he couldn’t experience the same relief. There were also some diarrhea and toe fungus ads sprinkled in throughout the game. But a least now $100 million more people know about pooping and ugly toes.
Coldplay, Starring Beyonce: That’s the best way to explain the half-time show. Chris Martin proved he’s a really good opener for singers who are a lot more relevant than he is. They all found the perfect bland-colored outfits to make sure they didn’t stand out among the vibrantly colored marching bands and umbrellas. Bruno Mars reiterated that he has not come out with any new music since 2014. Beyonce on the other hand used the Super Bowl to debut a new song and announce a world tour, which starts in April. But now let’s talk about the real star of the show: Referee Clete Blakeman or, as he is now known: the #HotRef. With a name like Clete, how could he not be hot (or not be a referee. I mean who’s name is CLETE?!) Regardless, people were obsessed. Men and women were posting screenshots of him in his tight-fitting stripes all game-long using the hashtag #hotref. Many were angry he didn’t get more screen time, and some said they stayed up extra late hoping he would get doused with Gatorade. Just wait until he takes his hat off and everyone sees his receding hairline. I think that hashtag will go into the depths of Twitter and never return.