We can’t have interns anymore on our show, because no one wants to pay them. And let’s be honest, with all the billion dollar companies in this area, we’re probably not the best place for an young person aspiring to be a millionaire. They should go to Google instead where you can make $6,000 per a month and $9,000 in benefits. According to a newly compiled list, interns make a killing at some of the biggest and best tech companies in the Bay Area and beyond. It really makes you want to quit your job and just be an intern for the rest of your life. Because some of these places even offer housing. At the top of the list is Snapchat. See the full list:
Women are insecure about their boobs, their butts, their stomachs, their faces, and there are surgeries to “fix” all of those things. But ladies, what about our labies? See what I did there? Well, it took a while but women have finally moved on from tummy tucks and are now getting labia-tucks, or as they’re officially called: labiaplasties. Doctors say they’re on the rise, especially among teens. So much so that they’ve started issuing guidelines on how doctors can appropriately talk to female adolescents about labia procedures and the risks involved, which apparently there are a lot including including pain, scarring and infections. They also say doctors need to emphasize non-surgical alternatives and share the wide range of what’s “normal” down there.
At Apple yesterday, many people arrived at work to cops and SWAT teams swarming the campus. Apparently an employee walked into one of the conference rooms and discovered a man who was dead from an apparent gunshot wound. I can’t imagine finding something like that, but they called 911 immediately and so far they don’t believe there was any foul play involved. As far as they can tell it was an isolated incident. The man was found with a gun nearby. The rest of Apple stayed open, but I can imagine it’s hard to focus with cops and SWAT teams and reporters all over the place. And all of this happening on Admin Day, one of the few days where administrative assistants get showered with gifts from their bosses.
We heard earlier this week about how PornHub is using Emojis as a new way to send porn to your phone. So naturally Starbucks must follow. Because porn and coffee go hand-in-hand. They’ve introduced a new app where you can text Emojis of their delicious coffees to your friends. This is for no other purpose than texting. You can’t order drinks using Emojis, yet. For now it’s just about the joy of sending a picture of a latte, a woman holding a latte, kitty with heart-shaped eyes with a latte, or purple unicorn drinking a latte. But with Starbucks and many others creating new ways to use less words, it does make you wonder if we’re all regressing back to hieroglyphics. Especially with Instagram and Snapchat where it’s all about visuals and not the words, people aren’t so into reading anymore. Or talking. Or texting words. So will we be resorting back to cave-like grunting before we know it, and were cave drawings really just the world’s first Emojis??
Will Ferrell may have made a name for himself playing George Bush on SNL, but now that he’s vastly expanded his repertoire he’s moved on and will now be playing dementia-stricken Ronald Reagan in a new film simple called Reagan. This is apparently a comedy about Reagan’s second term where they focus on his failing health and an intern must convince the him that he’s an actor playing the president in a movie. Sounds hilarious, doesn’t it?? I’ll tell you who doesn’t find it hilarious: Michael Reagan. Reagan’s son has already attacked Will Farrell on Twitter saying “What an Outrag….Alzheimers is not joke…It kills..You should be ashamed all of you.” You’re right, Michael, it is Outragus.
Porto-potties don’t have a lot going for them as it is. They don’t get a lot of good press. And that definitely won’t change now that a man was just bitten on his penis by a deadly spider while using one. This poor man, who is now in the hospital in stable condition, was in the midst of doing his business, already trying to navigate several things, when a highly venomous Redrock spider attacked his genitals. Paramedics were called to address the nausea, severe pain and excessive sweating one feels after being bitten by one of these things. And with this specific spider, only the females are venomous, so perhaps this is not a “when animals attack” story, it’s an “unrequited love story.” Hopefully next time she’ll get her man.