It’s that time of year. I’m not talking about Labor Day or Halloween or the Holidays. It’s that time where your current iPhone will self-destruct to make way for the all new iPhone 7, which will make it’s big debut during the Apple announcement September 7th, one week from tomorrow. And there have been lots of rumors circulating as to just what the new iPhone will offer, though the biggest fear is that they are getting rid of the precious headphone jack, forcing us all to buy adapters or new sets of headphones that plug into the charging port. We will all complain and resist the change, but then realize that Apple has us by the balls and we’ll eventually break down and buy the stupid adapters. On the flip side, the new phone will likely be more water resistant, have a better camera, and the iPhone’s ugly step sister the Apple Watch will get an update as well, possibly giving it a camera and a much better GPS system. These updates will hopefully allow them to compete with other wearables like the FitBit. So, let the speculating continue until the big day when we all say we don’t want any of this stuff even though we secretly do.
While we sit here wondering about our new phones and watches, there could be alien people on another planet waiting for the new jetpack7 or the next flying car. If there are, we may never know or meet them. However, the people over at SETI, (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) may have possibly gotten a new signal from an alien planet 95 lightyears away. They received a random, huge spike in their signal, which could mean that there is a highly intelligent civilization out there that is much more advanced than ours, and possibly even reaching out to us from beyond. And the other weird thing about this is that the Russians discovered this signal a year ago, and apparently so did we, but they kept it a secret. Now, the information has been leaked to the media and they’re all trying to explain what the hell it is. So why are they hiding this from us?? They said the signal is strong enough that they will not be monitoring it 24/7, so are the aliens making contact? Are they coming here? If so will our rent go up even higher? God, I hope not.
If you could pick two groups of people to never piss off, it would be moms and bicyclists. With moms, don’t ever say it’s not ok to breastfeed somewhere, and with cyclists dont ever blame them for anything ever. But right now the bikers of the Bay Area are stomping their little click shoes with anger because a bike pedal is being blamed for the recent Sierra wildfire that burned 122 acres earlier this month. There have been many causes for all the recent fires. Campfires, cigarettes, gunfire, but not bicycles. Experts say they’ve done the investigating and determined that the cause of the fire was a bike pedal scraping against a rock, creating a spark and therefore igniting the brush. But it has igniting much more than that. The people who pedal are outraged, saying there is absolutely no way this could happen. The Inyo National Forest’s Facebook page has been flooded with comments of rage, some demanding video proof: “Unless there is clear video of this ‘pedal strike ignition,’ it is 99.999 percent anticyclist BS.” Yikes. Bikes! (point for you if you get that movie reference)
Who knows if this is another study done by a man who has been scorned by a woman one too many times, but according to extensive research it is written in ladies’ DNA that they are destined to be lying cheaters who constantly have affairs on their spouses. It’s not the guy’s fault, it’s that science has predetermined that women are unfaithful by nature. According to new research done at the University of Texas, women are predisposed by their genetics to have affairs as “back-up plans'” if their current relationships fail. They treat affairs sort of like relationship insurance. So if anything goes wrong, they have someone else to go to. But when it comes to humans in general, research shows that we are becoming less monogamous and more about “mate-switching.” And that humans have evolved to keep testing their relationships and looking for better long-term options. As time goes on, we start living with the mentality that there is always something “better” out there. We will commit to our partners, but always be wondering or planning for the current relationship to fall apart. It’s optimism at it’s finest!
Many people will tell you that money doesn’t buy you happiness. In the Bay Area, I would beg to differ. It seems money at least gets you a 300 square foot roof over your head and a $16 loaf of bread. But apparently there is a way for money to make you happy. You just can’t spend money on stupid crap that you’re going to forget about in three weeks. Many researchers have come together and studied this at length for many years, and here’s what they came up with. If you want money to make you happy, use your money to buy experiences, or give your money to other people. Which sounds a lot less fun than buying experiences, but that’s what science is telling us. Spending money on a trip to a new country or a rock climbing class is what will fulfill you. So, basically just pour through Groupon. In addition, buying a drink for a friend or giving your money to charity will make you much happier than buying yourself a new TV. Voila! Money = happiness.