I know some people are concerned about healthcare, civil rights, the TPP, and the future of the United States as we know it, but let’s talk about an equally pressing issue. The thing that helps us cope with all these serious issues. And that is beer. There has been a recall on beer, everyone. But we will get through it and in the end it will hopefully make us stronger. Sierra Nevada has issued a 36 state recall on their pale ales, IPA’s and several others because of a “factory flaw.” Apparently the way they were packaged made it possible for the glass to break off and get into the bottle, which would mean we’re all drinking beer with shards of glass in it. Which might seem like fun but it can cut the crap out of your esophagus and then you can sue the crap out of Sierra Nevada and Sierra Nevada doesn’t want that. So if you have a Sierra Nevada beer in your hot little hands that was brewed between December and January, you might want to ask yourself if it’s worth it. And in these troubled times, the answer might be yes.
If you aren’t happy at your job, it might be because your job sucks. Maybe there’s nothing rewarding about it. Maybe the pay is bad. Or maybe you just have a job in a dying industry that no one cares about anymore…And that is why Radio is nowhere to be found on this new list of the 100 Best Jobs in America. All of these jobs were found to be rewarding lines of work with low stress, constant room for growth, and great pay. Reading this list proves I am an idiot because I would never be able to do any of these jobs and I don’t even know what some of them are, like an Actuary? A Landman? Real Estate Developer?? I mean what are these things?! Some of them were surprising like they’d be stressful, for example Nurses, Auditors, Project Managers. Others are obviously not stressful, like “E-learning specialist” aka an “internet teacher.” Financial Planner was also on there, School Dean, and of course anything in the tech industry. Whether it’s building tech, managing computers in an office, or being some kind of web developer, there is always room for growth in the tech industry. The number one best job in America, the one with the biggest growth, highest reward and good pay is being an app developer. And if you look at the San Francisco skylines and see nothing but beautiful pristine apartments that all belong to app developers, it definitely makes sense. So, the real takeaway here is we all need to learn how to code. Now.
If you had a flight on United Airlines yesterday, guess what? You did not have a flight on United Airlines yesterday. All of their planes sat at the airport and so did you. There’s nothing like getting to the airport looking up at that departure screen and seeing a giant “cancelled” right next to your flight. You instantly know that your day is going to change forever, for the worse. Thousands of people were stranded. United has about 4,500 flights a day, so obviously if none of them go anywhere it presents a bit of a problem. Let’s just say Chris D’Elia isn’t the only one upset with United Airlines now. And why did this happen? Was there some kind of storm? Yes, there were storms everywhere. You’d think that was why there were so many delays, but nope, that had nothing to do with it. Apparently none of the flights could leave because of an IT problem. At first they gave zero information other than that. Which I’m sure was a frustrating trip to the customer service desk. But later on some “US officials” were saying Air Traffic Control had problems with low bandwidth. I had no idea CBS managed the computer systems at United.
People are getting more and more creative with how to smuggle weed these days. Now that it’s legal in many states, the desire is stronger than ever to buy pounds and pounds of it, drive it across state lines and make a sweet profit. Over the holidays last year people were hiding it in amazon packages and things made to look like Santa’s toy sack and how we’ve moved on from toy packages to giant fruits. They just busted a tractor trailer that at first looked like a giant shipment of watermelons, but they were really giant oval-sized plastic packages filled with weed and they just painted the outside of them green and tried to make them look like watermelons. The trailer was on it’s way to Texas and they got pulled over by border control. Of course there were drug sniffing dogs that were pretty interested in the 390 very questionable-looking watermelons. U.S. Customs and Border Patrol say they discovered 3,000 pounds of marijuana hidden within the shipment. All of that weed was was worth roughly $600,000.
With a bang up job like this, can you believe they were caught?
We now know the two teams that will be taking each other on in two weeks time at Super Bowl LI in Houston on February 5th. The Atlanta Falcons and the Patriots. Yes, it’s sad that it takes place in Houston and neither the Texans nor the Cowboys could pull off a Super Bowl appearance. Before the Cowboys lost, tickets to the big game were going for about $5,000 a pop. Then when they lost, ticket prices plunged back down again. However, for the first time this year people were able to buy tickets to the game, then get a refund if their team didn’t make it. Many dissapointed Cowboys fans were able to get their money back. But now that the Falcons beat the Packers, tickets are back up to $5,100. Whether you’re there for Matt Ryan, Tom Brady, Lady Gaga or country singer Luke Bryan who’s singing the national anthem, it’s going to cost you. You can get cheaper ones for about $4200, but you might not be able to even get a ticket before long because they only have 1,300 of them left. Regardless it’s likely to be a more exciting game than the snoozefest from last year, and the best part is Tom Brady is a huge fan of Matt Ryan and says he texts him regularly. His most recent comments: “I’m always sending him texts over the course of the season and vice versa. I have a lot of respect for Matt. I like him a lot as a person, as a player, as a leader.”
Everyone has their “go-to” sex position. But how likely is it that your favorite sex position is going to get you killed or horribly injured? Every position is fun for its own reason, but you might think again after reading the results of this research study on the dangers of sex. These are probably the same scientist who are sitting around doing studies on “boob size” all day, but hey these are valuable studies that will keep your junk working properly so listen up. Doggy style accounts for roughly 29% of all penile fractures, so pump with caution: